A Circle's Round...

It's that time of year when I reflect more than usual about the bounty of things I am thankful for.  It makes sense, it being Thanksgiving tomorrow...in the United States at least.  I have a personal practice of remembering to be thankful for various happenings throughout my days.  One day it will be a  surprise text from a friend I haven't heard from in a while, or maybe being able to see the moon hanging over the harbor, or something as simple as walking down the street and having a stranger smile and say "Hello!" to me.  But right now, on this Thanksgiving Eve, I am thinking about the "Big Thankfuls" I have going on in my life right now.

My dad re-tying my mattress on the van
in Medford, OR; Day 2 of moving me up to PA

In my room I have pictures of my family all over every surface.  There is a picture of my mom and dad on their wedding day; pictures of me and Kath in Seattle and New York City in their respective city frames; a whole family picture from the Alaskan cruise 17 of us went on in July; one of my grandma, Kath and me from about 10 years ago; and my favorite, which sits right next to my bed, a photo booth set Kath and I took at the State Fair this past summer.  I'm guessing you can tell what I am thankful for the most this year.  My family is amazing.  I am thankful that they claim me as one of their clan.  I have been all over the place this year in trying to decide what to do after graduating, and they patiently listened to my pipe dreams of finding the perfect farming apprenticeship where I could have learned to grow my own food and how the earth works and sustains my brothers and sisters.  They listened as I contemplated applying to teach English overseas.  They wished me luck as I had my first AmeriCorps interview from the cruise ship in Skagway, AK.  And then they held my hand and wiped my tears and hugged me hard as they helped me say good-bye to Sacramento and hello to the Pacific Northwest.  My mom and dad graciously moved me up and helped me cross the bridge of living in a different place for the very first time.  My sister has carved out time to talk at least weekly, if not more, and we can stay caught up on each other's triumphs, challenges, and "Aydos!"

The North Olympic AmeriCorps Team at the end of training

I am thankful for my AmeriCorps teammates who have made me feel accepted, especially my housemates, Marie and Megan.  I have a safe place where I can talk to someone if I need to or can go hole up in my room and know that regardless of which I do I still feel welcomed and wanted.  I am thankful for my kitchen table, where there have been heart-to-hearts, girl talks, laughing fits and life talks.  I am thankful I am surrounded by people who, from the start, have wanted to make this more than a job and more than co-workers and create a community.  I'm still getting to know people and deepen my friendships with others, but I already know that I will be friends with some of these guys and gals for years and years to come.

A place I was thankful to be at...

Lastly, for tonight, I am thankful for this Earth.  She is kind and gracious and especially gorgeous in my neck of the woods.  So many days I think to myself or marvel aloud as to how fortunate I feel to be in this place that is pure beauty.  The mountains peeping up in my backyard.  The water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca shining blue and glassy.  The green green green trees that provide oxygen for my lungs to digest.  The waves that crash, and the purple and green and blue clouds, and the deer running through yards, and the seagulls that call, and the bright moons, and the golden sun rays.  This is a place to be thankful for.  Any place is a place to be thankful for.  We must remember to open our eyes and see the good that is in front of us and be thankful for being able to see that beauty.  Be thankful for the time we have spent wherever we have been.  When I was in fourth grade one of the fourth grade teachers encouraged us to say "Thank you" to a fish we were going to dissect.  At the time I didn't think much of it, but the idea stuck with me.  I am thankful for being able to dip my finger tips in the water lapping the lake shores and crashing onto the beaches.  I am thankful for the salty kisses of the mist from waves.  I am thankful for fresh, white snow powder to fall in and make a snow angel.  I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving!  May all of you have love and happiness and thankfulness in your heart today and always.  I am thankful for you.

Down the Rabbit Hole

When I was offered the AmeriCorps position I'm now in I knew I would have a multitude of adventures and make new friends and basically have an all-around, brand new type of life experiences.  I had no idea, however, that I would be having the time of my life while simultaneously learning so much about myself.

November was already set up to be an odd month work-wise.  For three weeks in a row we have not had a full work week.  First, there was Veteran's Day and a conference day.  Last Monday brought another conference day, and so only four days of school.  Friday morning the kids were all abuzz with anticipation of an impending snow storm that was scheduled to come in that night.  I had to leave school early to attend an AmeriCorps meeting with my local, Port Angeles, team.  There I got to share the news that one of my students, who had previously done everything in her power to show her disdain for me, had actually asked me for help in class the day before!  This was probably my biggest success thus far.  I literally wanted to skip down the rows of desks because I was so excited about this one encounter.  Before the meeting I went to lunch with Paige, and had such a delightful time talking with her and learning more about her and her life.  She and I traded stories that have more depth than a 10 minute break at school will allow.  She and I both commented on how having a built in community with our AmeriCorps team members made being here fairly easy, and way easier than I had anticipated.  I recently realized that I am much more independent and self-sufficient than I had previously thought.  This is a huge step for me personally because I had been very used to  sort of having my hand held through things.  That being said, I'd be lost without the unique and balanced group of my AmeriCorps teammates.  

Ferry ride back to Anacortes

Fisherman's Bay on Lopez at sunset

On Friday I drove over to Port Townsend to catch the ferry to Whidbey Island so I could meet up with Riley.  Michelle was nice enough to babysit my car, and drop me off and pick me up at the ferry terminal.  I didn't have to worry about if my car was safe, and I didn't have to walk in the freezing rain that was falling Friday as I left.  Just another testament to the kind of people I am fortunate enough to be working with.  After Riley picked me up we made a little stop in Anacortes, loaded up his truck and hopped on another ferry to Lopez Island.  Just as we were boarding the ferry it started to snow!  We jetted out of the car, pulled on our hoods and ventured up to the decks of the ferry.  The snow swirled around us and made a kind of tunnel over one of the sides on the deck.  Some other passengers decided to have a snowball fight with the snow that was accumulating on various parts of accessible windows.  I was a little hesitant to walk out because I could see that ice-cold water below and snow whirling above, but I'm glad Riley convinced me to walk out with him.  It truly was a magical experience.  I got to see a lot of cool spots on Lopez Island and had a great, relaxing and thought-provoking weekend.  The snow stuck the whole time, and it just added to the already beautiful scenery.  After narrowly making the ferry off Lopez Island, I had some coffee with Riley and his mom at her house.  The sun was streaming in the living room window as well as reflecting off the water of Burrows Bay.  His mom asked me if I was ready to "go back to reality," meaning Port Angeles and work.

My mailbox this morning; apparently
Mother Earth thought it needed some
more decoration! 

I thought about it for a second, but I already knew the answer.  Of course I was ready!  The students I work with have become the reason I am here.  As great as it is to be able to saunter over to a San Juan Island for the weekend, that's just a side benefit of getting to work with the students I do.  I wonder about what they're doing over the weekend, and what stories and adventures some of them might share with me.  With others I wonder if they have enough food to eat or are safe over the weekend.  Today brought a snow day, and anywhere between eight inches and two feet of snow.  We already got the call that we won't have school tomorrow, either.  Even though I had a fun time romping around in the powder and sledding down hills with Megan, I will be happy to see "my kids" on Wednesday and be able to check in with them, even just for a day before Thanksgiving break.  They'll be hyped up, I'm sure, and probably a lot restless, having only to go to school for one day this week.  Selfishly, I will be happy to see them so I can try and find a way to tell them that they are what I am most thankful for this year.

Something Old, Something New

This past weekend one of my very best friends, Lani, and her husband, Aaron, came to visit me!  It took me almost the whole first day they were here to realize part of my California world was in my Washington world.  I was so happy to see them, and have an "excuse" to go exploring!

Shining sun & a yummy breakfast!

On Friday Lani, Aaron, Megan and I headed out to the west end of the peninsula.  I had seen signs a few weeks ago for Cape Flattery, the "most Northwestern point of the continental United States."  I'd also heard some great things about that area.  After making a delicious and filling breakfast of Chocolate Chip Pancakes we packed a picnic basket of snacks and piled into my car.

Surfer Beach, Beach Babes

We decided that on the way to Cape Flattery we would stop wherever looked interesting.  The first place we stopped at was an unmarked beach that had some amazing views and seemed to be a popular surf spot.  There were about 10 surfers in the short waves; usually I am envious of surfers being out on the water, but not that day!  The water seemed too cold, and some surfers even had wet suit head coverings!  Brrrrrrr!  After collecting some driftwood, rocks, shells, and pictures we climbed back into the car and continued west.

The Ascent

As we drove along Highway 112 we kept seeing places where one or two cars could fit, parked just off the side of the road.  I announced to the car that the next one we came to I was going to pull over so we could check out more of the coast line.  I couldn't have made this announcement at a better time because the next pull-out was an amazing little spot!  There were tide pools where we spotted some hermit crabs and there were also two sets of large rocks that were calling our names to go climb them.  Megan made it up first and coached me up behind her.  From the top of the rocks we had an uninterrupted view of the floating objects we pretended were otters, the strait across to Vancouver Island, and two container ships cruising by. After Megan was done pretending she was Ariel singing "Part of Your World" (the waves crashing on the rocks beckoned the song, really...) we climbed down, avoided the incoming tide that was surrounding the rocks we had used to climb up, and headed over the to "cave" Lani had found.  After a little bit more water-evading we were surrounded by boulders, but could see through some small openings to the waves.  Magical.

After a few hours of driving, laughing, chatting, and snacking we made it to Cape Flattery.  When we got to the parking lot for the trail we looked around for some clue as to how long the hike down and back was going to be.  None of the signs said anything.  Ever fearless and friendly Lani asked a guy in the parking lot who told us it was 3/4 of a mile down there, parts of the trail were really muddy, and it was a steep climb coming back up.  Well, we were already there, so why not make the last bit of the trek?  I am so glad we did!  First of all, the trail was a little bit muddy, but not the kind that tries to suck off your shoes or anything.  Second of all, at least half of the trail was boardwalk or had wooden stepping stones.  There were lookout points along the way that provided some amazing views.  The vegetation reminded me of a mix between the coastline in California near Monterey and the parts of Alaska that I saw.  There were caves the water crashed into.  I wondered what those caves will look like, or how big they'll be, in 100 or 1000 years from now.  The sun was already starting to set and if the clouds had parted a little more it would have created quite the show.  Aaron was nice enough to drive home.  After a taco and cake dinner we all hit the hay pretty early to get ready for another day of exploration.

Saturday Lani, Aaron, and I left in the opposite direction on the peninsula out to Port Townsend.  That day we just relaxed, ate a delicious lunch, window shopped, and had coffee at a cozy place that serves fair trade coffee and offers raw milk for their drinks.  After walking around a little bit more we went home and Lani and I got ready to go out and dance to Deadwood Revival, the bluegrass band I saw on Halloween.  Lani, Megan, some more AmeriCorps girls, and I danced and had a great time.  Sunday morning brought the departure of Lani and Aaron.  I so enjoyed their visit and getting to spend some time with these long time friends.


Today there was no school so I got to sleep in and relax a bit.  I went to the Tribal Center with Megan to sort out some of the materials we have and to try and figure out how to best utilize our time and tangible resources so the kids get the most out of both.  Tomorrow brings a time to test out our talk.  The wind and rain are blowing hard outside tonight, but I am cozy inside listening to the soundtrack of my house (Alexi Murdoch from the "Away We Go" soundtrack) and Megan's infectious laughter.  Yep, life is still really, really great.

I have been here no time at all.  I have been here forever.

As I walk down the streets, drive up the mountains, ride across the peninsula, I have this intense feeling of wholeness.  Not sure if it's the work I'm doing, where I physically am, perhaps the people I am surrounding myself with...combination of all of the above.

Last week was one of the more difficult weeks I've had in a while.  Parts of my job are just flat out unpleasant and hard on my heart.  Yes, I was warned there would be times when one of my students would come up to me and tell me about things I would then have to report because I am a mandated reporter.  It just feels so much different than I thought it might.  The mornings were literally dark and the days of the sun shining on the snowy mountain tops were waning.  I was sick and doing my best to keep up with the various tasks last week demanded from me.  I felt the pinch of procrastination that only I could have prevented.

La Push

However, I am lucky because after long work weeks I get to be re-energized by some amazing weekends.  Halloween weekend some friends and I went out to see a local "bluegrass meets the Grateful Dead" band.  The next day a bunch of AmeriCorps headed out to La Push to help with a Halloween Carnival.  I was so pleasantly surprised to see the ocean when we rounded a bend!  Marie and I took a walk down the beach before we went in and frosted HUNDREDS of pumpkin-shaped cookies.  There is a river that literally flows into the ocean and I was stoked because I had never seen that before!  After the carnival was over I ran down to the beach, sat on a tree trunk and just lifted my face to the salty sea spray and the droplets tumbling from the clouds that had rolled in.

Tarboo Bay

This past weekend was another rejuvenating one.  A couple of us from Port Angeles rolled across to Port Townsend to meet up with other AmeriCorps to pull some terribly invasive English Ivy along Tarboo Creek.  Even though there were some frustrating moments (how do the roots just keep going?!?), my sides hurt from laughing so much throughout the day.  We had a great crew with lots of questionable commentary that somehow fit the day perfectly.  After calling it a day on pulling ivy we headed down the road and found some apple trees full of apples ready for us to pick.  Apparently a few from the group were industrious and have already made applesauce and other apple items from the bags and bags we acquired.  Maybe it's because working outside and in the dirt is still a relatively new and novel activity for me, but I was so "blissed out" Saturday.  When I got home I was caked in mud and had been poked and stung by blackberry bushes and other unidentified "pokey things."  My lungs were also filled with fresh air and my cheeks were still warming up from the wind that swept in the last few minutes while we were pulling out ivy.  At this point, I couldn't imagine a more relaxing Saturday afternoon.

Eight Day Weekend

Quick recap of how work has been:  crazy busy; calming of steep learning curve; relationship building with students and seeing improvements with them and their school work; feeling like I'm gaining trust and more support from the teachers I work with.

Now onto the other, slightly more fun things that have been going on lately.

Last Friday the North Olympic AmeriCorps Team traveled to Seattle to participate in the Washington State AmeriCorps Launch.  Left the house at 5:30 a.m.  Met up with most of the PA team at the Y at 5:45 a.m.  Slept in the back of the van on the way to the ferry.  Took one of the free buses to the Seattle Center and felt like a tour group.  We had our matching AmeriCorps sweatshirts on and were walking around, slightly directionally challenged, underneath the Space Needle.  The launch was fine, with some good rhythm exercises that were of course related back to how we can approach this next year (or so) of our lives.  Lunch at an upscale, but yummy, taqueria with Megan, Meaghan, and Suze.  Disaster preparedness training where the entire group got a case of the giggles.  A younger version of Ellen DeGeneres led the training so at least it was entertaining!  Got back later that night to have an English gentleman cook for me and Megan in our cheery, yellow kitchen.  I attempted to get to sleep early, but that didn't happen.  I ended up taking more of a nap that night rather than a full night's sleep to prepare me for the drive to Vancouver the next day.

Megan and I left our house, for the second day in a row, before 6:00 a.m.  Got to the Port Townsend ferry with plenty of time and in time to watch the sun rise over the San Juan Islands.  You know, just my everyday life!  The drive was easy until we got to Vancouver, which I find really difficult to drive in.  Maybe, just maybe, this time I got a better feel for at least part of the city.  Megan and I got to my friend Haig's apartment where she climbed into the couch for a nap and Haig and I went for a delicious and lovely brunch with Haig's parents.  Afterwards it was my turn to join in on the nap action.  Finally, Megan, Haig and I managed to rouse ourselves and take a walk around his neighborhood gathering ingredients for dinner.  Vegetable and shrimp risotto.  YUM!  Later in the evening we went to see the last show of The Parallels and basically had a grand old time early into the morning.

Sunday morning brought my tour of Vancouver to Megan, which really just consisted of me driving her to the west end to Stanley Park.  It was super pretty, decked out in its fall colors.  We opted for the "truck" border crossing in hopes of avoiding a two hour wait like the one I went through in July.  It worked!  After we crossed back into the USofA I got in contact with my friend Riley and made plans to meet up and have an adventure in Anacortes.  First order of business, find delicious food for lunch.  Riley led us to a new chowder house that did not disappoint.  He suggested we take our food up to a lookout on Mount Erie, which we did and the views were amazing.   The sky met the water, and at some points I really could not tell which was which.  We also saw two bald eagles really close up, maybe 50 feet away.  I am learning that in certain parts of the world bald eagles are actually viewed as somewhat pesky animals.  From the cold, windy view point we went to Riley's house and warmed and woke up with some delicious coffee.  Went to another park with more great views of the islands and water and some cool looking trees.  Riley escorted us off the island and lead us to Deception Pass where we parted ways for the time being.

Megan and I returned home to our lovely housemate, Marie, who we had wished was with us on our adventure!  We got to relive some of our favorite weekend memories while we told her about the loads of silly things we got ourselves into.  I was exhausted from the weekend but so happy to see some people during it who I have known for a while.  It's kinda crazy how there were some moments where my friends looked at me and just knew what I was thinking and feeling.  They know me fairly well and I had forgotten how comforting a feeling it was to not always have to explain when I was kidding or describe how I really felt about something because they just know.  I wear my heart on my sleeve, but sometimes I think it might take people a little bit to figure just how transparent I am when it comes to my emotions.  Even though I got very, very, very little sleep this weekend (which those who know me well know is essential for me 98.5% of the time) it was exactly what I needed.  Gorgeous people and gorgeous land and gorgeous experiences.  I have to pinch myself sometimes.  <3

True Colors Shine Through...

For about the past week the weather has been amazing here.  Yes, a little colder than I am used to in mid-October (I'd still be wearing sandals in Sacramento!), but it has been beautiful. I wasn't sure how many fall colors I would get the see in the "Evergreen State" but I have been very pleasantly surprised.  I have said so many times that I wished I had my camera with me, but for now I'll just have to describe some of the glory that is surrounding me.

These days the sun is rising as I am leaving the house for work.  Although getting up in the dark is not my favorite thing, walking out to see the sky painted purple with hints of pink and indigo with a few stars lingering is fast becoming one of my favorite things.  The deciduous trees that are here dot the hill and mountain sides with organic golden patterns.  I love seeing the autumnal, golden rays of morning sun glinting off the trees and piercing any lasting fog that's sleeping in the fields.  This morning as I turned down the road to get towards my school the golden leaves shimmered in the sunlight and I looked across the Strait and saw the purple, blue, green mountain tips on Vancouver Island pushing through the low laying clouds.  

Yesterday as my friend Benny and I were walking along the waterfront we decided to walk up a tower that's on the pier here in Port Angeles.  The day was incredibly clear and we could see the buildings of Victoria almost as clearly as you can see San Francisco from across the Bay on a clear day.  Sure, the buildings looked a tad smaller, but still, super clear. 

I love looking up to the mountains on these clear days.  I find myself daydreaming about what the mountain faces look like up close; how the mountain would feel under me if I could magically fly up and sit on one of the ridges for a minute.  The windows from the staff room at school give uninterrupted views of the mountains, so not only do I get fuel for my body on my lunch break, but for my soul and spirit as well.  Today was especially gorgeous.  I watched as the mountains turned from purple in the morning light to golden brown and almost red in the afternoon sunlight.  

Even if I did have a camera with me i know that any photo I take wouldn't be able to capture this beauty and do it justice. 

And A Hush Fell Over the Crowd!

I am still learning; I still struggle with parts of my job; I still am positive I made the right choice taking this position and moving here.

Just a fairly quick post about a few successful moments that help me feel like I'm doing more that keeping my head above water.  There is a little girl who I have been reading with (or who has been reading to me) the past few days.  Yesterday she told me that reading with me "is fun" and wanted to know if she could read with me everyday.  Even when I correct her pronunciation, or ask her to go back and read a whole paragraph again she smiles at me and agrees!  I am humbled when she looks up at me with a happy, quizzical look in her eye and asks "Did I say that word right?"

Today at the after school program one of the students asked if we could just have five minutes of quiet time at the beginning of the homework period.  I responded to her request, and spontaneously announced that from now on the first five minutes of homework time would be done in silence and if the students needed help or had a question they were to raise their hands and one of the three staff would come as quickly as possible.  To my astonishment, all 15 of them zipped their lips and got right to homework.  A few instantaneously raised their hands for help and wiggled them in the air until we got a chance to go to them, but at least it's a start.  I am hoping it will work from here on out.  When the students left I felt calm and relaxed instead of trying to get my head to stop spinning like I have every other day thus far.

One of my FAVORITES of us!

For whatever reason during the past week I have had a wave of homesick-ness wash over me.  Besides really missing the #23 at Oscar's Very Mexican Food I miss the so many little things about home.  The everyday antics of my sister; how she and I would simultaneously go from watching the 3:30 Jeopardy! episode to doing homework to napping to cooking dinner to heading down the street to Rubicon; being silly and having the same sense of humor and laughing at the same things at the same time and having people think we were leaving them out of a joke!

In front of BnN's, a fav coffee shop

I miss living five blocks from one of my best friends.  Especially because I am convinced after he helped me learn/patiently tried to teach me how to play chess my brain grew and now I think it's turning back into mush! Aside from that though I have been remembering times where there were no questions asked, I was just allowed to say how I felt about life and I had a cheerleader by my side.  I didn't have to explain when I was kidding or feel embarrassed or unrealistic (not even a little bit!) when talking about my desire for a full, vibrant, amazing life that I want to create.

I miss having my family close by.  Driving down for Friday lunches with Dad;  meeting up for lunch with Mom.    Having the option to take a quick drive to see my cuzs and get into some sort of trouble with them.  ;)   I miss the California coast line.  I have to thank the universe for giving me such great kids to be working with, because without their little smudged, hopeful, red-cheeked, tear-streaked, grinning, shining, inquisitive faces I would not be ok with missing home like I do.  But I do work with them, so, it is ok.