Takes My Breath Away

When I interviewed for the position I am in my now-supervisor told me several times, warned me even, about the various challenges of this specific job.  The population that I am serving has historically been challenged by drug and alcohol abuse in their community, as well as domestic abuse.  What's sad is that when my supervisor told me about this I thought, "What part of our society isn't plagued by these ills?"  After just being here a few weeks, and working in my position for two, I am starting to understand what a profound effect these challenges present to "my kids."

I use the term "my kids" because even in the short time that I have been working with them I feel a connection with them.  I hope everyday that I am not imagining it and that they are actually allowing me into their lives.  That thought is what motivates me to work hard and stay positive through the tests I believe the kids are putting me through.  Again, I was "warned" they would test and challenge me in order to make sure I can be counted on and trusted.  I have been learning some of my kids stories and backgrounds.  As I was warned, some of them have gone through things that no human, let alone kids, should have to go through.  With a heavy heart I know that unfair, horrible things happen to everyone, everywhere.  But now, for me, hearing these types of stories takes a different toll on me...because now these are MY kids.  The other day I had a hard time breathing regularly, breathing at all, and participating in a conversation because all I could think about was how these children, children, hadn't done anything in this life to deserve to have anything bad at all happen in their life.  My resolve to be the best I can be for them strengthened then and there.  I'm excited to be back with them tomorrow and start a new week!

And then yesterday my breath was taken from me again, but for a different reason.  Well, actually two different reasons.  One of my AmeriCorps teammates organized a hike in Olympic National Park.  Five of us crammed into my tiny loaner car and off we went, driving up into the clouds, emerging to a beautiful blue sky with amazing views of the Strait of Juan de Fuca.  When I said I'd go on the hike I didn't think to ask what the trail we'd be hiking was going to be like.  All I knew was that we'd head up towards Hurricane Ridge and from what I'd heard there was a pretty easy and short hike up there.  Well, at the trail head for the hike we did there was a sign with the words "Switchback Trail."

Basically I told my friends that I'd meet them at the top.  I made it up the various switchbacks with frequent pauses to catch my breath after climbing some inclines.  I think, though, that I would have paused anyway because the scenery was so beautiful!  As I continued to hike up I felt reinvigorated about deciding to move here.  Maybe it was being in direct sunshine having my blood pumping through me, but I definitely felt some really great energy pulsing through me.  When I finally did make it to the top I joined my friends on the top of a boulder where we had an even better view of the Strait, the Olympic range, Mount Baker, and mountain goats! I am not sure how I will keep my sense of awe and amazement about the beauty that surrounds me in my everyday life, but I hope to.  I can't imagine walking around and thinking "Oh yeah, there are those mountains again..."

Between getting to work with my kids for the rest of this year and being surrounded by this beauty I guess I'm going to have to get used to having less air in my lungs as it seems I'll be having my breath taken away at a moment's notice.  But after all, isn't life "not about the number of breaths you take, but the number of moments that take your breath away?"  :)

My roomie, Megan, and me on the boulder with the Straight in the background