Here I Go Again, On My Own

Well, not eactly on my own, but here I'll go again on another adventure...

Yesterday morning I got a phone call and was offered a Naturalist Intern position with the San Joaquin Outdoor School.  I excitedly accepted and suddenly had an extra bounce in my step for most of the day.  Getting that phone call and the accompaning offer means that I have a weight lifted off my shoulders, I can actually say I'm moving back to California with 100% certainty.  It means that I'll be closer to my family and therefore will be able to see them much more frequently than I have since I moved to Port Angeles.  That has been one of the toughest things for me since moving, so I know I will be thankful about that.  The location of the school is one that I know I will love.  Located in the Santa Cruz moutains sourrounded by redwoods and still very close to the coast I am hoping I will be one happy long-term camper.  Plus, I will be able to check out a new part of education through this position where I will lead fifth and sixth graders through their week-long field trip on hikes, tide pool explorations, finding their place within their school community, and silly songs around the campfire.  I have to admit that I am looking forward to being the fun, science camp "teacher" rather than the day in and day out disciplinarian that I feel my current students view me as so much of the time.

But those students who might view me as that disciplinarian are also the students who keep me coming back with enthusiasm everyday.  Yes, there are plenty of days where I drive home with my head in my hand, leaning against the window, either venting to Megan or almost silent on our drive home.  However, I have found meaningful connections with my kids, too.  Seeing them in the halls and hearing about their latest test or book they read or how they're going to dye their hair next shows me that I have been able to become part of their lives...and now I'm going to leave them.  Thank goodness I still have two months to spend with them. 

And it's not just my kids I'm going to miss dearly.  When I moved here I was strongly hoping that I would be able to be part of creating a new community, family almost, of the AmeriCorps teammates I would be working with.  Originally I envisioned becoming friends with all the other 37 members of the team and creating some sort of special bond with each person.  Ahhh, the hopeful promise of not yet meeting people and creating my own versions of them.  I didn't even make it out of the first day without deciding there were definitely people I would be able to work with, but would probably never be friends with.  However, there were several people I would become close with, and create my own sort of family with.  Some of us had a big, potluck Thanksgiving together.  Being cozy and feeling like I had a place there made not being with my bilogical family easier than I would have imagined.  My housemates feel like sisters I didn't even know I was missing until I met them.  Together I have had shared more laughter and good times with them than I even could have imagined.  I will always stand by my feeling that I lucked out with the two best housemates I could have asked for moving here.  We share clothes, food, bottles of wine, tears, hugs, dog stories, frustrations, yard work and most of all, laughter.  And sooner than I know I will be leaving them too.  I told Marie last night that someone else will have to drive my car away when I move because I will be crying too hard to operate a motor vehicle.  I know it wont be the last time I see them, but I will be leaving a home that I have been very, very, very happy in.  Serving in this AmeriCorps position has been, and still is, exactly where I need to be for this time in my life.   

Now I will go on to create a new community with my fellow Natusralist Interns, or at least hopefully I will.  I'm sure that when I meet my new coworkers I will find that they too have been missing from my life and I wasn't yet aware of it.  I am very excited about going to a new, yet still somewhat familar, place where I can cultivate my combined passions of education and environmental awareness and stewardship.  I'll be creating a new part of my life that I have worked hard for and will be working in a capacity that will hopefully open new doors or create new bridges that will lead me down paths to exactly where I am meant to be at that point.