Stuck in the Middle?

Yesterday I helped chaperon about 30 middle schoolers (and one brave elementary student) to a Mariners' game.  Within about five minutes after getting on the road I had a new-found respect for my AmeriCorps teammates who have worked with these kids this past year.  I have always had respect for all my teammates and the work they do, and it's not like these kids were the devil's spawn or Bebe's Kids (which was what my 7th grade math teacher referred to some of my classmates as).  However, it takes a special kind of person to work effectively with middle schoolers and gain their trust and "affection," especially kids who have already spent some time in juvie, had siblings, parents, and friends die, and had drugs and alcohol intertwine themselves into their lives.  The fact that multiple AmeriCorps members are going to serve a second term in order to work with these students says a lot about my teammates, but I also believe it speaks volumes about the kids they work with.  Even from just being around them for part of one day I could tell they are smart, curious, and sponges to what the world can offer them.  They're excited to have those AmeriCorps coming back to work with them, and I bet they know how lucky they are to have those AmeriCorps dedicated to them, their well-being, and future.

Yesterday also reminded me of the tumultuous nature that comes with being a middle schooler, or early high school student. There is so much going on around you: sometimes you're expected to be an adult, sometimes you're expected to be young and innocent (ha!), sometimes you want to act one way but your peers around you make you feel like that's the entirely wrong thing to be doing, sometimes you feel so at peace and connected to your peers you think your family are people that take up space and you don't really need them, sometimes all you want to do is curl up in your Mom's arms and if you're lucky like I was you had that option.  There is no denying that early childhood molds a child in deep, lasting ways.  But I would argue that all of childhood and adolescence has that same lasting effect, especially for those who might not have had the ideal support and nurturing of a stable, loving home.  As I watched the interactions between the students and the AmeriCorps members they knew and have grown to love I was reminded how vitally important it is for all of us to not only not turn our backs on struggling children and teens who may have not always made the best choices, but also to embrace them in as many ways as we are able (and they will allow), show support for them (even when they are screaming about how they're going to pee on someone's head or seemingly casually bragging about the last fight they were in), and find ways to include them in experiences like going to a big(ger) city a few hours away and going to cultural events that their everyday life might not allow.

I may very well not see any of the kids from yesterday ever again.  Although I will not have made a difference to them or even registered on their sometimes scrutinizing radar, they have made a difference in my life.  Thanks to them I was reminded and reinvigorated to pursue my quest to continue to try and figure out actions to take in order to have every child (to use the term loosely)  feel valued and cared for, as well as create opportunities for them to see parts of the world, locally and globally, that they have not seen before.

Big high fives to Julia (yep, there's another one on the AmeriCorps team!), Lola, Jack, Ahmad, and Jo for their work with these kids this year.  And a super big high five to Sam for making yesterday's trip happen! You guys are amazing!

It's the Final Countdown

The school I have worked at this year is getting naked from the inside out.  Art projects, writing samples, door decorations, and inspirational posters are getting taken down faster than you can ask "How many more days do we have?" Today, the answer to that question is: ONE MORE DAY!!!  The kids have been ready for this for weeks it seems, the sixth graders even longer.  They are done reading and practicing math facts (...come on, just practice a few more times and you'll be on your Indigo dragon!...) and really done sitting still, inside, in their chairs while the weather occasionally turns sunny.   

In my last couple of weeks working with the students I have realized how much they have grown in so many ways!  The way they now process and understand information amazes me.  I can streamline the directions or explanation I'm giving them and before I know it they have completed an assignment in a fraction of the time it would have taken just to explain the directions at the beginning of the year.  Lately my heart has been swelling with pride as I have watched my students conquer multiplication facts, "chunking out" more difficult words when reading, and, last week, sing and dance to Klallam songs at the culminating family dinner on the last day of After School Program.  I am selfishly thankful that Megan will continue working in the same school with the same kids next year so that I can still keep tabs on who's doing what and be proud of them for their continued growth and successes.  My plan is to send letters through Megan, and when my job ends next year just before Memorial Day come up and visit.  These kids were not a filler in my life these past months; they were the sustenance and I would not have survived without them.

Part of me still wants to stay here for another year.  I doubt that feeling will go away for a long time.  So much good, personal and professional, has come from this adventure to the Olympic Peninsula.  The staff at the school I was at welcomed me with open arms and always treated me as a competent person who really could teach students.  I had to earn my stripes with a lot of the kids, but it was so worth the trials I went through.  As I have gotten to know their stories more it is so easy to see why an outsider would be tested (sometimes thisclose to the breaking point), so I am lucky that some let me in to form these amazing relationships.  The smiles and hugs and successes they share with me now are priceless.  Being an AmeriCorps member in Port Angeles is something that I have always felt proud to associate myself with.  Not all community members have known what AmeriCorps is or what we members do which is not always an easy thing to describe because we wear so many different hats, often at the same time.  But, those who were already aware of who we are and what we do have always made me feel like the work that my teammates and I do on this peninsula is worth it's weight in gold.  We are well taken care of.   Megan and I are almost always getting sent home with the leftover food from a gathering.  People have lent tools for me to use at home.  A teacher graciously watched Maise when there was an overnight AmeriCorps retreat.  Many kind words and encouraging pats on the shoulder have been given from those around me, letting me know I was not alone.  

Many times this year have been tough.  I have buried my head in my hands at the end of countless days and wondered what I was going to do with these kids I work with.  There's been a lot of car trouble for me.  A long time friend disappointed me big time and the experience left me feeling emptier than I thought it should have for longer than I thought it should have.  I would not trade any of the hard times for the beauty, love, happiness and sense of self, peace, and place I have experienced while here.  I am thankful I still have a month left here and will get to try my hand at a few other "jobs," as well as spend time with the gorgeous souls I have found solace, acceptance, and laughter with.  If this is what it means to (almost) complete a term of service with AmeriCorps than I am forever thankful I had this opportunity.